It seems to be everyone’s favorite sport of late…bashing fashion bloggers. There’s definitely a certain amount of poking fun at ourselves that we can (and should) take, but when the comments & insults get personal, that’s another story.
The guys at Le Petit Echo Malade, for example, are original, HILARIOUS, and harmless, all while they totally making fun of fashion bloggers…Nati Hell from Fashion Bloggers, Why? (found via Confessions of a Fashion Editor) is just mean; her blog is filled with vitriol and personal attacks. Sadly, running across a blog like this is nothing surprising, or new, I mean one of the things girls do best is be nasty to other girls…
Obviously people who leave rude & negative comments and/or write blogs dedicated to being nasty don’t deserve much of our time, but they’re also hard to ignore. I have really never received many negative comments on Grechen’s Closet to outfit posts, but I did recently, and it definitely affected me. I deleted the comment, and moved on, but I was shaken by it for a little while. It’s always easier to tell people to ignore nasty comments than it is to do it…and obviously, I’m in favor of removing comments from your blog completely if they get out of hand. It’s YOUR blog, and you don’t have to subject yourself to others’ pettiness.
Nevertheless, it’s an interesting phenomenon, fashion blogger bashing, but we do make easy targets…
Why? Because…
- we put ourselves out there – we’re personal, and we post head to toe pictures nearly every day.
- it takes guts to post pictures of yourself online. you have to have the confidence to do it, first, and second, to be able to withstand the inevitable negative comments you’ll get as a result. and it’s exactly that confidence that really pisses some people off. why? because they don’t have it.
- let’s face it, sometimes the poses are funny
- and finally – fashion is ALWAYS an easy target. if you love fashion, you’re stupid & frivolous…blah blah blah. that’s a tired, old argument. but it will always be that way I’m afraid. the world is made up of 2 types of people: those who love fashion and those who don’t. and those who don’t really really really don’t understand those who do.
I fully respect anyone who posts pictures with personal stories & reflections on their blogs – it’s not an easy thing to do, and there are WAY more people out there who appreciate it and enjoy it, than there are who hate it. Nothing should stop you doing what you love; definitely not cattiness & jealousy.
What do you do when you receive a negative comment on your blog? or when you run across a negative blog or forum? do you ignore it & move on quickly or do you write a response?
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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
I agree with your post (:
I think that the best way to handle trolls is to ignore them to avoid providing them the satisfaction of knowing it affected you. Don’t feed the trolls!
Lenne´s last blog ..Harpers Bazaar- Collections Part 2
I write from the heart & totally bring my readers into my personal life bc they are part of my friend & support circles. When I get a negative comment and it is there specifically to denigrate or disrespect me, I definitely delete it. People who have the guts to put themselves out there will often be the targets of criticism and insecure people.
Thanks for the great post! xo
Amy
I’m glad I read this b/c I heard another blogger make sort of a negative comment about deleting negative comments. (Hope that made sense). She was saying something like, you can learn from the negative comments & you don’t want to come across as someone who can’t take “constructive criticism”. She also mentioned that whenever she gets negative comments, her readers always stick up for her. I thought, eeek! I don’t like mean people. I totally agree with your point #2 & love the way you phrased that. So true!
Nickie Frye´s last blog ..Kim- the Amazing and Fabulous
yeah, a lot of people said that about jane (sea of shoes) when she deleted her comments – that she should be able to “stand up” to them. on a certain level that’s true – and when you post yourself online, you are putting yourself out there for criticism, and you WILL get it, but you don’t HAVE to put up with it, or have it on your blog. it’s YOUR blog. negative or mean comments don’t belong on MY blog. i don’t want them to be a part of my environment at all…
I’m able to moderate all comments before they show up on my blog and I’ve only gotten a couple of haters in the 11 months that I’ve been blogging. I do outfit posts pretty infrequently so the haters I get aren’t even commenting on what I wear. I remember one comment from someone saying that fashion blogging is such a waste of time and that I should get a life… And I had to laugh. Here I am creating something interesting and original, and sharing it with others, all you’re doing is trying to tear me down, and YOU are telling ME to get a life? It was comical. I didn’t post the response – I just didn’t approve the comment.
Adelle (the Fashionistalab)´s last blog ..My kind of clouds
good for you! like i mentioned above, there are ppl who are going to hate on fashion & those of us who write about it. nothing will change that. how sad are they that they hate fashion bloggers so much, but they’re reading a fashion blog. and leaving a comment
What irks me the most is when negative comments are anonymous. If you would never say something to my face, then why would you say it to me on my blog and shield your identity?
I get that by putting my photos out there (almost) every day, I’m just asking for criticism. And constructive criticism is always welcome. In real life, if you were my friend, and I made a really terrible shoe choice, I’d welcome your opinion, whether or not I agreed with you. But in a comment on my blog? C’mon. Sign your name to it, at least! I equate not signing your name to a critiquing comment or leaving a mean, anonymous comment to be the same as if I were hanging out on my front porch then a car drove by and someone from a window shouted, “HEY, UGLY! GET A NEW FACE!” then promptly shut the window and sped off, leaving me in embarrassment and confusion. What am I supposed to do with that?
For the record, I do want to say that I have never (so far… knock on wood!) gotten a mean comment. My readers are 100% awesome and incredibly sweet. I think someone once posted a photo of my shoes once and said “I don’t like oxfords. Even if you’re tall, they still look bad”. I was like, “Ouch, but thanks for the link back and credit?”
Indiana´s last blog ..Video- Behind the Shopping- Goodwill
I am a firm believer that respect is to be earned, but courtesy freely given. There is a difference between criticizing Sea of Shoes’ questionable life choices of abandoning education and glamourizing consumption, and laughing at her moon face (with which I have also been genetically burdened). Face it, blogs take a certain amount of arrogance to expect others to be receptive to your life, your views, and if the best you can do is flaunt your line of credit, it’s not fair to pout in the corner when someone doesn’t kiss your ass. We have to admit a lot of style bloggers got started not to celebrate fashion but to gather admirers (and possible free stuff).
I looked at Nati Hell’s site. I’m not really impressed. She thinks she’s calling them out for their bullshit when really all she wants is to tear them apart. Several of the comments defend her targets, having gotten a positive word past moderation. I give her credit for that. And only that.
this is an interesting point you bring up “blogs take a certain amount of arrogance to expect others to be receptive to your life” – but i take issue with two things: first, sometimes confidence & self-esteem is confused with arrogance…if you don’t like the person, you think they’re arrogant. so that’s subjective. the other thing is, that no one is making anyone read any of these blogs. if you don’t like them, or you aren’t “receptive” to the life the blogger is leading, then don’t read her blog.
i understand the feeling or perception at times that some bloggers are just flaunting their money or their beauty, but so what? how does that affect my life one bit? nothing gives anyone the right to personally attack another person with such nastiness. that’s what i have a problem with.
Self-expression and freedom of speech go both ways. Some people like you fear anything negative is an attack. Nati Hell has a “right” to exist in cyberspace the way a style blogger who has nothing better to do than post twelve shots of her camel toe does. It’s uninvited, but not always undeserved, as we seem to confuse criticism with insults. Arrogance does not involve the thicker skin and fearlessness of true confidence. Real life is not the bubble of cotton candy you want for yourself. Technology makes it too easy to hide from differing opinions. Can you not see the similarity between the analysis here and the vitriol from Nati Hell?
“and finally – fashion is ALWAYS an easy target. if you love fashion, you’re stupid & frivolous…blah blah blah. that’s a tired, old argument. but it will always be that way I’m afraid. the world is made up of 2 types of people: those who love fashion and those who don’t. and those who don’t really really really don’t understand those who do.”
To make sure that reason will never come up again I founded Brains + Beauty, aimed at girls who want to combine style and studies
Because to all the haters out there: Just because you like to follow runway shows on Style.com and wear a beautifull Vivienne Westwood or vintage dress does not mean you’re a stupid person!
XX Noa
These people just say what’s wrong with everyone else, in my opinion you’re only allowed to do that once you’ve proven to everyone else what is right.
I’m under the impression Nati Hell likes fashion, so that’s not a legitimate argument. She’s bashing vanity, not fashion. It’s not an umbrella attack against this demographic of style bloggers.
i don’t see what nati hell liking fashion has to do with anything – fashion bloggers and other people who like fashion/style bash each other all the time. i don’t think i tried to make an argument that fashion blogger bashing is ONLY done by people who don’t like fashion, in fact from what i’ve seen, most of the bashing is WITHIN the industry.
and she’s bashing her perception of vanity.
no matter what, that kind of language and personal attacks are never called for.
I’ve only received one negative comment and it was actually emailed to me! However, it was so full of grammatical and spelling errors that I sort of laughed it off. I moderate my comments and would not post a negative comment if it made me feel bad. Screw that. Go troll somewhere else!
Thanks for the great post. I haven’t had this happen to me yet, but then my blog is new and I don’t have much of a following. Good to know it’s happening to others and that it’s something to prepare for. Mostly I just get spam!
Heather´s last blog ..Kids Art
Yeah, Nati Hell’s blog is very mean. I don’t like it, not to mention bashing my favorite bloggers for no reason!! Fashion is a form of self expression, art, and goes deeper than just materials. Simple things like that have deep social, political and economic influences especially when it comes to the deep complexities and conflicting issues of gender and identity. I love their outfits and it’s just so much fun and so what if they go shopping for what they like? Everyone is living their own lives with their own choices. Calling girls crack whores and trannies is just really mean and very sexist. There’s a difference between criticism and being downright mean.
It’s fascinating because fashion at its roots is very feminist. It is one of the only industries run by women. Without Coco Chanel, we wouldn’t be wearing the free flowing clothes we have now. And Vivienne Westwood have awesome punk rock influence. I think she should take a fashion history class. Or girls screaming for the Beatles is not stupid. Girls loved them because they were just cute school boys who sang love songs. And girls were comfortable with that especially at a time of threatened masculinity.
I don’t know why I’m writing this. I guess her blog just bothered me a lot. it’s just bashing. No time, research, and thought is put into it.
Sorry for my crazy rant. I love fashion blogs and it’s my stress relief.
Actually, it’s surprising that an industry geared towards women is still underrepresenting female designers. An essay once stated, “Fashion is gay men making clothes to attract straight men where women are merely the hanger for the joke.” An extreme judgment for certain, but not really that far from the truth. It doesn’t surprise me that female designers, especially Westwood, are the only ones incorporating different body shapes. Heaven forbid a man learns to accomodate breasts and hips on a woman who isn’t 5’10″, 110, and an A-cup.
So sorry to hear about the mean comment. I don’t get them too often. But if I do, I just delete them and move on. But they do leave a lingering bad taste for sure.
With regard to nasty comments left on blog posts, I don’t think it’s necessarily that the subject matter is so much a factor. I think it’s the medium. People leave flames all over the Internet – whether it’s on a fashion blog or on a major news website. It’s easy for people to leave comments online that they would never say in person if they can leave the comment anonymously, because there are no repercussions for their actions.
I know some people who are developing a new site and they’re specifically going out of their way to avoid flamers by making sure that people can’t leave comments anonymously to make people more accountable.
Sonja´s last blog ..Is Bobbi Brown Raspberry Shimmer Lip Gloss the new must-have gloss
oh wow. call me naive, but I didn’t know these people were out there. I am new to the fashion blogging world, but I can’t understand why someone who doesn’t enjoy fashion bloggers would scour the web for fashion blogs only to bash the authors. ummmm. if you don’t like me and what Ihave to say, just don’t read my blog??? duh! This Nati Hell is really just plain mean.
Eboni Ife’´s last blog ..Encore
oh and I’ve only had one brush with negativity, and it actually wasn’t on my blog. I was featured on another blog, and there were comments about my style… or lack of style… that were kinda hurtful and unnecessary. My self esteem definitely took a blow for about a day or so, but in the end I came to terms with the fact that everyone is not going to like my style and that is okay…that is the beauty if fashion. It truly a form of personal expression…to each his own. I guess I just feel like if you don’t have anything nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all *shrug*
I did post my reaction to the negative comments on my blog and of course all my loyal followers jumped to my defense, although I did have one follower tell me I was over reacting *shrug*
I don’t think I’d delete negative comments on my blog, though I would probably respond kindly…I’m a kill ‘em with kindness kinda girl…Lol
Eboni Ife’´s last blog ..Encore
“It’s always easier to tell people to ignore nasty comments than it is to do it…” — very true! I always encourage people to delete random nasty comments. Why leave them there to bother you and all your other readers, ya know?
WendyB´s last blog ..What Wendy Wore- Journalism Awards and Shame
P.S. I did have a good time with one negative comment: http://wendybrandes.com/blog/2009/05/wrinkly-slut-part-deux/
WendyB´s last blog ..What Wendy Wore- Journalism Awards and Shame
of course…i remember that
i would expect nothing less from you!
If being a fashion blogger is stupid and frivolous, then what does that make someone who creates a blog to knock them.
Kathryn´s last blog ..Cheap Tricks
I can’t believe you found Nati Hell through my blog! However weird that sounds, I’m oddly pleased about that!
After I commented on her blog, she emailed me back and I’m going to interview her for my blog to see if I can find out the root of the issue, and I’d love your opinions on the finished article when it comes about
can’t WAIT to see that!! i’m glad you’re doing it…
Blogs like this don’t contribute anything to anyone; it just becomes a sounding board for people who don’t like another group of people. What a waste of time and effort.
Good for you! DELETE DELETE DELETE, the only solution… Envy and jealously,aren’t they 2 of the 7 deadly sins? Some children never grow up, they go on to become mean adults…With my website when I make a sale I decorously beg and plead for the buyer to send me an e mail,to let me know they are pleased with their purchase, so often I hear nothing (I offer a return policy and free shipping)… I try not to take it personally, but it’s hard not too, as you mentioned with a negative comment. Oh the internet…
An important life lesson: not everyone who dislikes you is secretly jealous and wanting to be you.
Hear, hear!
#4 is what I’ve been living lately. My new extended family is not cool with my interest in fashion, which I think stinks!
I recently had to reinvent myself due to a lot – and a long time – of life changes. So my new blog name was named after this fight (that is NOT going away).
“Stylish with Substance”
I hope to show the meaning and do the name proud, while not just standing up for myself, but everyone (or most) whom are stylish.
Ella Mode´s last blog ..Mag Layout- Retro Sophistication Dressing Inspiration
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